Motoworks Chicago Second City ScootersScoooterworks ChicagoPark TavernThe HideoutLatebarArchie's Iowa Rockwell TavernJill Loves JackBad Ass Biker ArtMikes Motorcycle TowingTiger BeerWindy City Mustache WaxWindy City OrthodonicsIdeal Patch

Join us for a weekend of rides, music, pork, games, undrinkable wormwood liqueur, and more! All are welcome, regardless of vintage, color, creed, or sexual orientation (of the scooter or the scooterist).

We've rewritten this paragraph nineteen times now, so hopefully we all know the drill. This year we return to the Hideout on Saturday night, one of Chicago's greatest music venues and site of some memorable SH hi-jinx with three great bands. We've got the usual great rides, food, raffles and an amazing new Friday night venue and oh, let us tell you, Animal Tots will change your life.

As far as Malört, no, they're not an official sponsor, and yes, it's become sort of ridiculously ubiquitous since Big Rye introduced it to scooterists a few years ago, (after which scooterists introduced it to the rest of the world) so our plan is to drink all of it we can find during SH weekend, then never speak of it again.

Visit our Facebook page or email us at


$15 Registration Fee
Wristband comes with registration.
No wristband, no rally, no ride.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Meet & Greet/Early Registration

at Archie's Iowa Rockwell Tavern, (2600 Iowa St. Chicago, IL 60622, 773-486-2626). Pre-register for the event, enjoy complimentary cheese balls, and be entered in a drawing for a limited edition Slaughterhouse XIX shirt!
Drink Specials: $3 Tiger Tall Boys, $3 Stella Cider Bottles, $2 Can-o-Hamms, $5 Hamms + Jim Beam

Friday, August 30, 2013

Come hang out at Park Tavern (1645 West Jackson, Chicago, IL 60612, 312-243-4276) for great food, music, and drinks. Park Tavern has appetizer specials from 9-11pm that are $4, $5, and $6, regular menu offerings until 10pm and $12 pizza + craft beer of your choice until 10pm. They also have $6 Stoli summer drink specials and $15 Miller Lite buckets. AND DID WE MENTION ANIMAL TOTS?
Free parking in back lot off Paulina St., which can also be accessed off southbound Ashland at the Teamsters entrance.

Rally registration starts

Berryoke karaoke starts

Suit up for the Midnight ride through downtown, (map) ending up at Latebar, 3534 W Belmont, 773-267-5283) for the after party (Late Bar accepts cash only).
No flip-flops allowed.

Dancing and socializing at Late Bar (go apeshit!)

Saturday August 31, 2013

Registration opens!
Breakfast at Motoworks Chicago, (1901 S. Western Ave. IL 60608 312-738-4269)

Our famous Gymkhana plus a slow race and other scooter games at Motoworks.

The return of last year's popular Poker Run from Motoworks to Scooterworks. (map) No flip-flops again.

BBQ at Scooterworks Chicago (5410 N Damen Ave Chicago, IL 60625 773-271-4242). Poker Run Winners Announced at Scooterworks! Registration for latecomers will take place from 3:30pm-5:30pm.

Free time! Go home, take a nap, and get spiffed up for:

Slaughterhouse Rock Party at The Hideout (1354 West Wabansia, Chicago IL 60642, 773-227-4433).

Bands start rocking your face off
($7 cover w/o wristband, free with rally wristband!)
First up: The 4 Strokes: Slaughterhouse's very own scooter trash cover band. They Are Champions!
Next: Squared Off: Working class punk rock from the mean streets of Chicago!
Finally: The Friendly Lens: Chicago-based Brit/power pop at its finest!

Hideout Dance Party
($5 cover w/o wristband, free with rally wristband!)
The party at the Hideout continues with amazing DJ sets from:
Ric Vespa (Revenge SC/Proper Rhythm & Soul Club, Milwaukee)
John Gassel (Mishifts SC/Brick City Sound System, Saint Louis)
DJ Malice (Punk/Glam/New Wave, Northern Cal/Chicago)
The Hideout has two rooms and a lovely outside area so you have plenty of opportunity to hang out with your friends and ignore the fun.


Head on back to Latebar, for all your after-hours drinking/socializing needs (Remember, cash only!).

Sunday September 1, 2013

Breakfast/raffle/goodbyes at Second City Scooters (5578 N Lincoln Ave Chicago, IL 60659 (773) 754-8533).

Raffle. This will be your only chance to win some cool stuff, including an amazing graphic canvas courtesy of Mike Kolpas of Mike's Motorcycle Towing and BadassBikerArt.com. Beverages courtesy of Tiger Beer, the beer that's awesome enough to sponsor a Sunday morning event at a scooter rally. Don't drink and ride. Srsly, you guys.

If anyone wants to do a Sunday group ride, we'll cook something up.

Monday September 2, 2013

LABOR DAY. Spend it with your family! Repent! Or crash someone's BBQ.


All times subject to "scooter time," but we'll make all efforts to stay on schedule so please arrive early for rides. Please listen closely to ride leader before ride for instructions to avoid red-light tickets and accidents. All riders in group rides must register for the rally and sign the liability waiver.

$15 registration includes goodie bag, a handsome fully-embroidered patch, and a wristband that MUST be worn all weekend. The wristband covers all venue cover charges, Saturday breakfast and events at Motoworks, Saturday afternoon hors d'oeuvres, and Sunday breakfast at Windy City Scooters. You MUST register and sign the waiver to participate in group rides.

There is no online preregistration. Registration is open at most venues and events. Extra patches and rally swag (old and new) will be available for sale.

Scooter-curious or just want to swing by to check out what's going on? No problem, we'd love to meet you! If you choose not to register, that's no problem, but you may not actively participate in any rides or activities without signing the waiver. Most events are open to the public but non-registrants will incur cover charges and other costs. Evening venues are all 21+.

Lodging: Chicago is a very popular Labor Day destination, so book ASAP! Ask about (or share) recommendations on our Facebook page

Riding: Please familiarize yourself with these Motorcycle Safety Foundation guidelines for group riding, Illinois motorcycle laws and Chicago scooter parking laws. Note that Scooters ARE Motorcycles in Illinois and must follow all motorcycle laws. Pay close attention to pre-ride directions, if you can't hear, ask the ride leader to repeat him/herself, we want everyone well-informed. We WILL NOT be blocking. Please do not attempt to be 'helpful' with vigilante blocking. Seriously. please. NO. Chicago is riddled with red-light cameras and insane drivers, so blocking and running red lights just doesn't work. We will do our best to keep the group together. We'll try to provide clear directions. We'll have people riding in the back and throughout the group to keep everyone on course. If you do break down or get lost, just stop somewhere safe, get out of traffic, and call the help numbers printed in the rally booklet. We'll send someone to help, or give you directions to the next checkpoint.

Safety: There is no helmet law for adults in Chicago, but we wear them and we hope you will, too. Eye protection IS mandatory. All scooterists should posess a current license appropriate to their scooter. Your scooter should have an up-to-date title, plates, and insurance, and all lights, brakes, mirrors and other required equipment should be working properly. The temperature can be all over the place, bring appropriate gear. Riding gloves and reasonably safe shoes are very highly recommended. There's a time and place for a bit of goodnatured jackassery and we respect that, but anyone purposefully endagering other riders, pedestrians, drivers, or the reputation of wholesome scooterists on public roads will be asked to leave.

Parking: Most street parking is metered electronically or zoned for resident parking. Most electronic meters accept quarters, dollar coins, and credit cards. They print adhesive tags you can stick to your headlight. Parking on any zoned residential street is permitted with a City of Chicago road use tax tag.

Chaining your bike to another bike or stationary object is always a good idea when possible. Parking on the sidewalk or on bike racks is illegal. The organizers and the venues will attempt to make parking available at the major venues, but we accept no liability for damage, tickets or towing, be sure to park safely and legally.


Slaughterhouse I

Slaughterhouse II

Slaughterhouse III
The Big Sell-Out (1997)

Slaughterhouse IV
Scootzilla (1998)

Slaughterhouse V
Dirty Dozen (1999)

Slaughterhouse VI:
Deathscoot 2000

Slaughterhouse VII
Kicked Out of the Webelos (2001)

Slaughterhouse VIII
These Scooters Don't Run (2002)

Slaughterhouse IX
Scooters of Mass Destruction (2003)

Slaughterhouse X

Slaughterhouse XI
Under New Management (200)

Slaughterhouse XII
Dirty Dozen (2006)

Slaughterhouse XIII

Slaughterhouse XIV
Pork My RIde (2008)

Slaughterhouse XV
Sin in the Second City (2009)

Slaughterhouse XVI
Bittersweet 16 (2010)

Slaughterhouse XVII
Scavengerhouse (2011)

Slaughterhouse XVIII
Scoot Early, Scoot Often (2012)