Slaughterhouse is going to camp!

August 28-August 31, 2014

Help Slaughterhouse celebrate twenty years of legendary scooter rallies with a return to our camping roots. The first two Slaughterhouses were camping rallies, and who could forget 7 and 8? We figured it's about time to take the rally back to the countryside and party like the old days.

Questions? Visit our Facebook page or email us at .


Windy City Vespa Windy City Triumph Fred Perry Dr. Martens HotVapes Archie's Iowa Rockwell Tavern ArmyNavySales.com Jill Loves Jack Windy City Orthodonics Mods Luv Rockers Quenchers Saloon Windy City Scooter Rental Hats Plus Field Notes Phantom Note Productions Ideal Patch


Thursday, August 28

8:00pm – close
at Archies Iowa & Rockwell Tavern, 2600 W. Iowa St., Chicago

Get registered early so you don’t have to deal with it Friday, join us for some drinks, and enter the mini-raffle for prizes from Chicago sponsors (and Archies’s special-edition Slaughterhouse t-shirts!). If you can’t make it out to Starved Rock for the weekend, this is your chance to pick up a patch and t-shirt and see your friends.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Ride to the BBQ
Leaves 10am SHARP

If you’re riding from the city and want to hook up with the group, meet at the Delta Sonic Car Wash at 8490 W North Ave in Melrose Park. Gas up, Doughnut up, and we’ll be on our way at 10am. We’ll follow North Avenue all the way out to St. Charles, which is honestly not a lot of fun but it gets better, promise.

11am – 12:30pm
Windy City Triumph/Vespa
135 S. Randall Road, St. Charles,

Windy CIty Triumph/Vespa will serve burgers as we regroup, hook up with the suburban folks, and get ready for the big rideout.

Windy City also rents scooters (and motormocycles), so if you don’t trust your bike to get you to Starved Rock, or haven’t got around to buying a scooter yet, or want to try something new for a couple days, they can set you up with a state-of-the-art Vespa or Hawg at a special Slaughterhouse weekend rental rate (please call ahead to reserve rentals!)

Ride to Camp
Leaves 12:30pm SHARP
from Windy City Triumph/Vespa
135 S. Randall Road, St. Charles, IL,
to Papa Murph’s,
Corner of Route 178 & 71, Utica, IL,

Expect a scenic 2 or 2.5-hour ride along the Fox River with a gas/snack stop along the way. We’ll try to keep it under 55 for those vintage 150s. If you’re riding a 50cc bike, we applaud your hardcore-edness but you may have a hard time keeping up, we’ll see you when you get there. Conversely, If you get angry riding at a mere 55mph, take the interstate and wait for us to show up.

(FRIDAY RIDE MAP, both legs)

(If these locations/times don’t work for you, feel free to head up a splinter group ride on our facebook event page, others may be interested in joining you. Obviously you can ride (or trailer) out any time you like but we recommend arriving with plenty of time before dark (7:30pm) so you’ll have time to register, choose a site and set up camp in the light. We know everyone couldn’t get the day off, but with holiday weekend traffic getting worse and worse all day, we wanted to get the big group out of the city and down there as early as possible. )

Setting up Camp

Camping is $8 per person per night, to be paid (cash only!) at Papa Murph’s bar (you’ll receive a separate camping wristband). The main group ride should arrive at Papa Murph’s around 4pm, but you can set up camp any time after 11am on Friday and/or explore Starved Rock and other attractions in the area.

On-site Registration at Papa Murph’s

The registration table will be open on-site Friday evening and Saturday morning. Please see registration details below. (Again, note that the camping fee must be paid separately at the bar, cash only).


Since people will be rolling in at all hours, we will not serve dinner on Friday night. Stop on the way, grab a bite in town, or bring/cook your own in camp.

Friday Night

Greet your out-of-town friends as they arrive, meet new ones, stop by Papa Murph’s bar (we predict an epic TouchTunes jukebox war), or sit quietly by the bonfire, and save some energy for Saturday night. Who are we kidding, you guys. We’re totally playing “I Buy, You Drink.”

Saturday August 30, 2014

0500 hours

J/K. Get your beauty rest. Whenever you do wake up, we promise at least one fool will still be going from the night before. We have some pretty good ideas who it might be.


A Continental Breakfast will be served in the lobby.

11:30 sharp
Group Ride departs

It was a long trek down here from the city yesterday, so we’ll keep this ride to a short 33 miles along the twisty Illinois River, with a lunch stop in Utica. (RIDE ROUTE MAP)


It was a challenge before, now it’s a threat: we’ll start off the games with our famous Gymkhana now incorporating our even more-famous Stomach of Steel competition, returning from a court-ordered 12-year hiatus.

If that sounds scary, maybe the Slow Race is more your speed? Riding in Chicago is good practice, but the age old question remains: are automatic or manual scooters slower?

You know those Pile-On photos you always see in vintage scooter books? We’re going to give that a go. Can you and your friends beat the record (21) set by the Vespa Club of Valencia in 1958? Do you even have 21 friends?

Do you have one friend? We’ll blindfold ’em, give ‘em a stick, and send you guys riding towards our Piñata full of… things. Good things.

Dinner: A “Taste of Chicago”
Sponsored by Hot Vapes 6:30pm

Enjoy some of Chicago’s favorite street foods! It’s like Grant Park in July, without the skyline, graft, variety, suburbanites, and cruddy bands!

Vegetarian? Sucker. But all is not lost: FireJ is your host for our fabulous PB&J buffet!

Saturday Night Bonfire

Dance and drink with DJs (or maybe car stereos?)

Visit Andrew Miller’s Ribald Storytelling Corner

Enjoy a traditional Chicago late-night snack!

Get lucky at our Raffle with great prizes from our sponsors

Sunday August 31


"Hey, this looks a lot like Saturday’s breakfast, but not as fresh."

Pack up and head out

Leave when you like, there won’t be an official ride but you should be able to round up a smaller group to ride back with.

Post-Rally Tiki Takeover
Hala Kahiki, 2834 River Rd, River Grove, IL 60171

After you get back to the city, if you haven’t had enough yet (or if you were stuck in town and missed the fun)  join us for our traditional post-rally celebration at Chicagoland’s first and best tiki bar.

Monday September 1

Labor Day

Spend some time with your other family!

Registration and Camping

You MUST register (including signing the waiver) to participate in group rides, meals, and all events.

$25 registration gets you a goodie bag, big embroidered patch, t-shirt, and wristband that MUST be worn all weekend for meals and to participate in group events. Register ASAP to ensure you get a t-shirt in your size! Camping is NOT included in registration (see below), participants must register whether or not they’re camping overnight. Extra patches and rally swag (old and new) will be available for sale. If phone service is available, we’ll be able to accept credit cards for registration and merchandise, but the bar and camping are cash-only.

There is no online preregistration, register at Archie’s Thursday night or on-site after 5pm Friday.

Old-Timer Discount!

If you’ve been supporting Slaughterhouse for years, we want to thank you! We’re offering a $1 registration discount for EACH legitimate and distinct Slaughterhouse patch permanently sewn to your jacket/vest/sash/blanky when presented at registration. Been coming for years? If you have the patches to prove it, you'll save some cash!


Visitors and spectators are welcome to check out the scene (at their own risk), but anyone who hasn’t registered and signed the waiver is not a participant in the rally and may not join in the rides, games, meals, etc.


12 and under are free. 13-17 are half price. Anyone under 18 must be accompanied by registered parents/guardian, and anyone under 21 may not enter Papa Murph’s bar. We like kids (we even have some of our own!) and are happy to have them around, but please note that our idea of responsible parenting might be pretty different from yours, and things get a little crazy at times.


Camping is $8 per person per night, to be paid (cash only!) at Papa Murph’s bar between 11am 2am. If you’re not camping, you’re welcome to visit the campsite day or night and come or go anytime, but may not stay overnight. If you arrive and set up while the bar is closed, please be sure to check in and pay at the bar once they open.

We get pretty loud at night, and we stay up late, if you’re camping in our area, bring earplugs!

Papa Murph's

The bar serves alcohol, pizza, and sells firewood and ice. Water is available on-site, bring a container and stay hydrated! It’s OK to bring your own alcohol to the campground, but we hope you’ll support the bar, too. Please don’t bring outside food or drink into the bar. There are restrooms in the bar and we’ll have Porta-Potties at the campsite. Please respect other bar patrons and campers and especially the folks that run Papa Murph’s, it’s a great venue and we want to be invited back. Please tip your bartenders well and help clean up after yourself.

More Information


All times subject to "scooter time," but we'll make all efforts to stay on schedule so please arrive early (and gassed-up!) for rides and other events. Please listen closely to the ride leaders before ride for instructions. All riders in group rides must register for the rally and sign the liability waiver.


If you’re not camping, there are several hotels (and the park lodge, and a waterpark hotel) in the area, but book quickly, Starved Rock is a popular Labor Day tourist area.


Please familiarize yourself with these Motorcycle Safety Foundation guidelines for group riding, Illinois motorcycle laws and Chicago scooter parking laws. Note that all motorscooters including 50cc models ARE basically considered motorcycles in Illinois and must follow all motorcycle laws. Pay close attention to pre-ride directions about blocking, formations, and regrouping locations. Please do not attempt to be 'helpful' with vigilante blocking. Seriously. please. NO. We will do our best to keep the group together, provide clear directions and route/contact info, and offer help to breakdowns. If you do break down or get lost, just stop somewhere safe, get out of traffic, and call the help numbers printed in the rally booklet. We'll send someone to help, or give you directions to the next checkpoint.


There is no helmet law for adults in Chicago, but we always wear them and we hope you will, too. Eye protection IS mandatory. All scooterists should possess a current license appropriate to their scooter. Your scooter should have an up-to-date title, plates, and insurance, and all lights, brakes, mirrors and other required equipment should be working properly. The temperature/weather can be (and usually is)  all over the place, bring appropriate gear. an armored jacket, riding gloves and reasonably safe closed-toe leather shoes are very highly recommended. If you’re wearing flip-flops for a 50mph 3-hour ride, we WILL make fun of you (and your toes).


There's a time and place for a bit of goodnatured jackassery and stupidity and we respect that. We stay up late, usually drink quite a bit, and we’re pretty loud (get the kids to bed early, bring earplugs). We all make questionable decisions in our quest for fun sometimes, but anyone endagering other riders, pedestrians or drivers, or vandalizing other people’s property (especially at or around the campsite that is so kindly hosting us) will be asked to settle down, leave, or reported to the police. The rally, organizers, and Papa Murph’s accept no liability for damage, theft, loss, or injury. Please be smart and keep yourself and your property safe.


Slaughterhouse I

Slaughterhouse II

Slaughterhouse III
The Big Sell-Out (1997)

Slaughterhouse IV
Scootzilla (1998)

Slaughterhouse V

Slaughterhouse VI:
Deathscoot 2000

Slaughterhouse VII
Kicked Out of the Webelos (2001)

Slaughterhouse VIII
These Scooters Don't Run (2002)

Slaughterhouse IX
Scooters of Mass Destruction (2003)

Slaughterhouse X

Slaughterhouse XI
Under New Management (2005)

Slaughterhouse XII
Dirty Dozen (2006)

Slaughterhouse XIII

Slaughterhouse XIV
Pork My RIde (2008)

Slaughterhouse XV
Sin in the Second City (2009)

Slaughterhouse XVI
Bittersweet 16 (2010)

Slaughterhouse XVII
Scavengerhouse (2011)

Slaughterhouse XVIII
Scoot Early, Scoot Often (2012)

Slaughterhouse XIX
Shineteen (2013)