Hey, friends! After two years of scaled-back Slaughterhouses, Chicago's oldest, biggest, and best scooter rally is returning to full-throttle this year. We're older, bigger, and better, with a few performance upgrades. You won't want to want to miss it. The itinerary is ridiculously packed with rides and fun (see below)>
Response this year has been amazing! We sold out of our allocation of custom IL license plates, and we've sold out of patches and rally bags. But it's not too late! You can still register and enjoy the rally just like everyone else!
Reach out to us at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any questions, and be sure to tell your friends, and mark yourself as "going" on our facebook event page.
$20 includes your wristband allowing you to participate in all events, your Poker Run tally, cover at Late Bar, a drink on Pinasco's tab at Half Acre, food and drink at some events, and discounted admission to Klairmont Kollections auto museum. You can register in person at the event, but it'll be the same price, and you'll have to fill out this exact same online form, so DO IT NOW to save time and hassle!
All proceeds will be donated to My Block My Hood My City. Last year we donated $1500!
But if you'd like to help us cover our post-rally mailing expenses (and thus increase our donation to MBMHMC!) by all means click that link!
T-shirts are not included in the rally fee, but you can order them here if you'd like one. Choose from a wide variety of colors, styles, and sizes. It's too late to get it for the rally, but it'll bring back all the great memories when you get it in a couple weeks! (Last year's shirts are still available too, if you also want to remember that one…)
Here's a Google Map with all rally locations marked.
Check the Facebook event page for any last-minute schedule changes or announcements. Arrive at rides early, with a full tank of gas. Include ample time to register and sign the waiver. Everyone complains that we don't leave on schedule until we actually DO leave on schedule, and then everyone REALLY loses their shit.
7pm: Registration/Check-In opens at Big League Burgers, 3734 W Irving Park. They've got great food and drinks and thanks to AllModChicago, DJs M.K., Fire J., and Debbie B-K will be spinning tunes in the parking lot. Can you eat the "Big League Challenge" in 25 minutes? Should you?
10pm: Night ride departs Big League Burgers. Be gassed-up beforehand!
11:30pm (approx): Ride arrives at Late Bar, 3534 W Belmont for 21+ dancing and drinks featuring DJ Jeff Moyer's Music Video Mashup. (Be sure to draw a Poker Run card at Late Bar!)
Noon: Registration/Check-In at Motoworks Chicago, 1901 S. Western Ave. Enjoy refreshments courtesy of Motoworks Chicago. We'll have a meeting at 12:30 to go over the Poker Run rules and answer any questions. Plot your route and find some friends to ride with before we set you loose at 1pm (Update: Looks like we might do a quick Boulevard run with the whole group… stay tuned!)
1pm-5pm: VCOA-Chicago presents the Slaughterhouse 28 Poker Run featuring great local Chicago businesses you'll love. Stop at the following six locations at your own pace, and take your time to eat, drink, play, and shop:
Tarnish Female-centric (but something for everyone) Motorcycle/scooter gear and accessories. 1948 W. Chicago Ave.
Liberation Donuts Radically Vegan donuts in a shared space with Upton's Breakroom vegan restaurant. 2054 W. Grand Ave.
Wolfbait and B-Girls Locally-designed apparel, accessories, and gifts. 3131 W Logan Blvd.
Bucket O' Blood Records and books, specializing in horror, fantasy, sci-fi, and new/used vinyl. 3182 N Elston Ave.
Logan Arcade (Huge variety of vintage and modern pinball and arcade games, plus drinks and DJ Jivin' Ivan! 2410 W. Fullerton Ave. (note: 21+, open at 1pm, despite what you see elsewhere!)
Reeds Local Our old-favorite Avondale dive bar. 3017 W Belmont Ave. (note: 21+, opens at 2pm)
5pm: Concours/Awards/Raffle plus Registration/Check-In at Scooterworks Chicago, 5410 N Damen Ave. Turn in your Poker Run tally (before 6pm), then have dinner courtesy of Chef Ken (try his famous fajitas!) and vote for the concours d'elegance. A little after 6pm, we'll announce the Poker Run and Concours winners and hold the raffle.
Around 7pm, we'll head around the corner to the lovely Half Acre Beer Garden, 2050 W Balmoral Ave., for a round, to cap off a busy day. You'll surely want to head home and get a good night's sleep…
BUT we're not through with you yet! Around 10pm we'll round up whoever's still awake for a ride to Sidekicks, 4424 W. Montrose Ave., for karaoke. And if you all behave, the night might not end there. We'll see.
9am: The Inaugural Anderson Crystal Consulting Corporate Retreat: Chicago-style 16-Inch Softball at Portage Park, Irving Park Rd and Central Ave. We'll be at the northernmost field, next to the tennis courts (closest to the north parking lot) No gloves needed, no gloves allowed! (Here's all you need to know, in song form). Enjoy coffee and pastries supplied by Anderson Crystal Consulting.
11am: If you can't get your act together for softball, meet at Portage Park before 11 for a short group ride to Klairmont Kollections, 3111 N. Knox Ave., an amazing museum featuring hundreds of rare vintage automobiles (including minicars and scooters). Your wristband gets you $7 off admission! ($15 with wristband, $22 without).
2pm-5pm: Mayday S.C. invites you to Golden Dagger, 2447 N. Halsted St., for Amplified Chicago, AllModChicago's monthly afternoon dance party! DJs include: Eric (FCS Sound System), Ric Vespa (Milwaukee), Fire J. (Dirty South Soul Club), Debbie (All Mod Chicago) and Rockin' Ricki.
KEEP YOUR WRISTBAND ON all weekend, you must be registered and wearing a wristband to participate.
Covid hasn't gone away, and who knows, maybe Monkeypox will be going strong by Labor Day. We can finally have some fun, but please don't be careless or inconsiderate. If you're sick, feeling sick, or have been exposed to sick people, or in a high-risk environment, please stay home. We'll mail you your stuff and photoshop you into the pictures.
Ride safely and respectfully. Ensure your bike is in safe/legal condition. We highly recommend a full-face helmet, armored jacket, sturdy long pants and shoes/boots, and gloves, even if it's hot. At a bare minimum, please humor us and wear a half-shell, eye protection, and sturdy shoes. If you're wearing flip-flops we might send you home. Stay hydrated and sunscreened.
Please familiarize yourself with these Motorcycle Safety Foundation guidelines for group riding, Illinois motorcycle laws and Chicago scooter parking laws. Note that all motorscooters (including 50cc models) must follow the same driving/parking laws as automobiles.
Pay close attention to pre-ride directions about blocking, formations, and regrouping locations, we’re trying some new things this year with our exceptionally large group. We will do our best to keep the group together, provide clear directions and route/contact info, and offer help to breakdowns. If you do break down or get lost, get somewhere safe out of traffic, and call for help (numbers will be provided). We'll send someone to help, or give you directions to the next checkpoint.
Rides are held at "scooter speed,” essentially typical urban/suburban road speeds. Motormocyclez, mopeds, etc. are welcome if you can safely keep pace with scooters. We ask smaller-displacement bikes to stay towards the front of the pack, and bigger/faster scooters and motorcycles to stay towards the back, it helps keep the group together.
There's no official rally hotel, St. Louis recommends the rustic vintage “charm” (and low prices) of the Heart O’ Chicago in Andersonville. We’ll be all over the North and West sides, but this year Logan Square or Andersonville, or anywhere between the two, would be your best bet for an Airbnb, convenience-wise.
License plates are SOLD OUT, but the original info is below, for posterity. TL;DR: If you ordered an ASSIGNED plate, you should have it, if not, let us know. We'll have more info at the rally about pickup/delivery of UNASSIGNED plates.
This rally is organized by a loosely-knit and ever-changing group of volunteers who do it solely for your enjoyment, inspired by a half-century of cooperation and hospitality throughout the worldwide scooter culture. Please understand that the individual organizers, sponsors, and venues accept no liability for damage, theft, loss, or injury. By participating in this event and signing the waiver, you've chosen to accept accountability for any risks incurred. If you don’t sign the waiver, you’re are not a Slaugtherhouse participant. Be responsible for your actions, respect others, and follow the rules, or please don't come.